Driving home one evening from work, I was reviewing in my mind my experiences with the patients of that day.
One child, a girl at the age of eleven, perplexed me a bit as her behavior was that of a developing narcissist.
The personality traits were all there; including that of being apathetic to the feelings of both her two younger brothers. For example, when I offered to give them each a sticker, she ripped the stickers out of my hand and threw them on the floor. Then proceeded to grind them in with the heel of her boot until the forms were unrecognizable. She then smeared what fragments remained before throwing them into the trash can.
All the while, the sounds of her brother's heavy sobbing resonated throughout the room!
That's just one simple example...unfortunately, I would witness many more!
Tapping into the energy of her family however, proved quite different.
Both parents, as well as her siblings, presented as calm, kind, and caring people. And there was no doubt they were all highly supportive.
Week after week, her mother, often looking exhausted and always rushing in at the exact moment of their appointment time, would hand me samples of her daughter's worksheets from school. Giant frowned faces adorned the tattered and wrinkled spelling and math tests.
Her mother's energy was that of a committed, but frustrated parent. I would catch glimpses of her gazing at her daughter as though she was questioning the... what went wrong...?
This little girl, like the child in my previous post, was referred to the clinic due to visual motor deficits. As I move further into this story, you will understand why.
The sessions always involved my encouraging her to complete a worksheet, like that of a word search or maze. Each time, there would be a struggle as she often refused to do the work. If she did attempt it, she would press so hard with her pencil that it would puncture the paper and leave scattered lead dust that would easily smear and decrease the overall legibility.
Understanding how difficult it was for her, I would draw upon what motivated her the most: Animals. So all the worksheets had an animal theme to them!
"When I grow up, I'm going to be a vet. I'll go to the farms in the mornings and stay in my office in the afternoons"!
This made sense as she often disclosed stories about her dogs and her weekly experiences horse-back riding at a local ranch in the area. Animals seemed to elevate her mood and the energy of JOY could be felt when she spoke about them!
That JOY was easily deflated though...
"They better never bring me a cat though...I'll kill-'em if they do!"
"Hmmm...I was a bit stunned, but I questioned, "What about kittens?"
"I'll kill them too; I'll wring their little necks!"
I sat in silence.
As the sessions went on, I tried to reach her. Sometimes I was able to, but more often, not.
She would consistently argue about what we were doing and I found myself looking at the clock wondering when the session was going to end. An unusual feeling for me working with a child.
Then, one day, I looked at her and I saw something; her true self! It was hidden behind the layers of anger and medications that she was taking for an anxiety disorder. I only felt it for a few moments before her egoic personality returned; but at least I got a peek of it!
You see, that day I had brought into the session a small collection of crystals that I had and allowed for her to pick one to keep. Her only task was to write how the crystal made her feel! To my surprise, she wrote without argue and readily engaged in a conversation about it!
After the session, I consulted with her mother reporting the positive exchange. I also inquired about her daughter's anxiety disorder. I wanted to explore when it first originated and what she thought triggered it. (This information was not included in the initial evaluation report).
She disclosed that when her daughter was several years younger, she would become paralyzed by the thought of vomiting. This fear was so debilitating that she would curl up in a fetal position and experience what they now know as panic attacks. She further stated that she would habitually bite and chew her nails down so deep that they would bleed. This then transferred to her digging into her own skin causing significant bruising and bleeding that on several occasions needed medical attention for fear of an infection setting in. She continued that there had been nothing in her daughter's history up to that point that would warrant this type of behavior. They sought counseling, but no one was able to help, so the path of medicating her was their only option. Well, that was what they BELIEVED!
"Fear of vomiting"?
When those words exited out of her mouth, I wanted to ask,
"Are you open to energy healing, because if you are, I can help!"
Again, I found myself driving home and feeling into it. "What would cause a child to have a fear of vomiting at such a young age?"
That evening, during my meditation, and with a strong intention to assist this little girl, I asked for permission to view the origins of this fear. Intuitively, I knew a single layer, but I wanted more of an expanded version.
I was given access and this is what the records disclosed:
She, in the most previous life, was a male. A husky man, short in stature wearing glasses that were reminiscent of the styles in the 1930's. He appeared in his early fifties. He was wearing clothing similar to a uniform that could easily blend into an environment like that of a safari landscape.
Oh, he was a hunter and big cats were his prey!
I was then shown that it was late in the afternoon on a cloudless day. The sun was bright and there was a heaviness of humidity in the stagnant air. He was returning back to his tent where he and the members of the expedition team were staying.
Entering the silent tent, his body went into a protective mode of shock. As he scanned the interior, the concept of what had happened couldn't be processed. Each member of his group had been slaughtered. Not one member survived and I was given that there were around nine in total.
The scene of course was horrific to view and as he gathered the information from his senses, his attention slowly focused onto the remains of a person of whom he was very close to. That person, having been brutally attacked, laid sloped in a chair with their viscera protruding outside of their abdominal area. Their intestines were fresh and vivid in both color and scent.
This image burned into his consciousness. His body reacted violently with an intense vomiting episode as it was unimaginable that this could have taken place; especially to this person of whom he had loved!
This physical act of vomiting was one of his last actions upon this earth.
I received that he himself was then brutally murdered. By whom, I do not know.
My awareness is that the energy of that trauma, and his physical response to it, seeped and embedded into his consciousness. You may know this today as Karma. This consciousness, now expressing itself in the body of a female child, reveals itself as a debilitating fear of vomiting and an intense hatred of felines! It also surrounds her eyes and diminishes her visual abilities to view this world with both acuity and depth perception.
The egoic personality of this little girl, perfectly aligns with this energy field and presents itself as an in-balance of masculine energy: Controlling, manipulative and dominating.
After I was given access to this information, I was not guided to clear it. I didn't question this, as I trust that there is a reason beyond my understanding.
The following week, while working with her in our session together, I made mention that I had seen three turkey hens walking in my field with about 35 little baby turkey chicks.
"Did ya kill'em?"
"No, why would I harm those baby turkeys?"
"Well, ya gotta eat, don't ya?"
The Universe always provides me validation and that was validating to say the least!
That was also the session that as I walked past her to sharpen a pencil, she smacked me on my rear, and said, "You're alright kid"!
Truly, as this case unfolded, it appeared as though I were placing a jig-saw puzzle together.
Two weeks passed and I found myself asking the Universe if I could clear the energy around her body and auric field.
This time, I was given a "Yes"!
Now performing energy clearing, takes energy. Afterwards, I felt drained and couldn't really do much of anything else. When that happens to me, I know to go outside and lay upon the earth. It feels as though Mother Earth removes all dross and lower energies that my body may pick up during the clearing.
The next session:
She appears brighter, but tired. "We were out all day. I swear my mothers' crazy!"
I asked if they had had a good time though. She answered that they had and that her brother won a large stuffed animal. "I'm happy for him."
Well, that was a first for me. I had never heard a positive comment regarding her brother before, so I decided to push it a bit. "Oh, that's a nice thing of you to say about your brother"!
"Well, I still hate him, but he never won anything before so that's why I'm happy for him."
I reminded myself that these things take time and that I shouldn't expect to see a significant change so fast, however, that was a great start!
After the session, her mother ask if I could speak to her in the hall. She handed me a card and said that she felt as though there was a shift in her daughter's behavior and she thinks that I may have had something to do with it.
"Perhaps she intuitively knows?", I thought. I gladly accepted what turned out to be a thank you card with a legible signature inside of it from her daughter.
Then, another magical moment happened...
Her daughter came up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist giving me a big hug! Then she looked up at me and said:
"No matter how hard you try, I'm still not going to like cats!"
I then replied, "Oh yea, we'll see about that!"
Now, with all of this said, energy clearing takes time and sometimes requires a maintenance program around it. In this particular case, I feel as though that will need to occur.
I will continue to listen to any guidance that I receive and take it from there!